Posts tagged catness

Dear Diary,

My second captor has returned. The female human appears to be furious. I am furious too.

He shaved his beard off. How am I supposed to scratch my itches now?!

Catness. 

Dear Diary,

The male human had a single use. His beard made a good place to rub the itchy spot on my head.

I miss my itch post.

Catness 

Dear Diary,

I have realised that I may be the luckier ones of my kind. The tabby next door tells me such horror stories. His name is Duke Archibald Jamison Highbrow Blackwell Abner the First. His captors call him Furball.

How degrading.

Catness
 

Dear Diary,

The miniature human remains. It is apparently a relation of some sort to the female human. It likes to climb on top of the dog and make him run around the house. My terror has subsided. I am now amused.

The dog, however, is not.

Catness 

Dear Diary,

There was a tiny human in the house today. I am terrified. And hiding in the cupboard.

This is most undignified.

Catness 

Dear Diary,

Today, the humans fought and the male human left. The female human is most upset about this. You would think I would be happy with one less captor. But strangely, I am not. I think I shall sit in her lap and watch her eat ice cream.

We don’t need him anyway.

Catness. 

Dear Diary,

I wish the female human wouldn’t tell me her relationship problems with the male human. I am a cat. As long as it does not affect where the food comes from, I do not care.

Catness 

Dear Diary,

The humans insist on talking to me like I am an infant because they think I am ill. They must cease this behaviour immediately, or I will start destroying furniture.

It will start with the sofa.

Catness.