Posts tagged cat diary

Dear Diary,

Today, the female human found naked female human pictures on the warm thing, again. She tends to scream a lot whenever she does that.

I don’t see what the problem is. I never wear clothes.

Catness 

Dear Diary,

My second captor has returned. The female human appears to be furious. I am furious too.

He shaved his beard off. How am I supposed to scratch my itches now?!

Catness. 

Dear Diary,

The miniature human remains. It is apparently a relation of some sort to the female human. It likes to climb on top of the dog and make him run around the house. My terror has subsided. I am now amused.

The dog, however, is not.

Catness 

Dear Diary,

Today, the humans fought and the male human left. The female human is most upset about this. You would think I would be happy with one less captor. But strangely, I am not. I think I shall sit in her lap and watch her eat ice cream.

We don’t need him anyway.

Catness. 

Dear Diary,

I wish the female human wouldn’t tell me her relationship problems with the male human. I am a cat. As long as it does not affect where the food comes from, I do not care.

Catness 

Dear Diary,

Today, I sacrificed another mouse to the great Cat in the sky to pray for her help in my escape. The humans seem to think this sacrifice was a way of pleasing them. They presented me with more fish than usual.

The fools.

Catness