Posts tagged cat diaries
The personal, private musings of the Honorable Catness Greyfur Blackbrow the Third.
From her Majesty’s Diary 1.26
Dear Diary,
The humans changed my food brand. I did not like it. So I put it in the dog’s bowl instead.
It is going to be a very interesting evening.
Catness
From her Majesty’s Diary 1.15
Dear Diary,
Today, the humans fought and the male human left. The female human is most upset about this. You would think I would be happy with one less captor. But strangely, I am not. I think I shall sit in her lap and watch her eat ice cream.
We don’t need him anyway.
Catness.
You will NEVER catch me and the dog doing this.
I am too well brought up to cavort with canines.
From her Majesty’s Diary 1.14
Dear Diary,
I wish the female human wouldn’t tell me her relationship problems with the male human. I am a cat. As long as it does not affect where the food comes from, I do not care.
Catness
From her Majesty’s Diary 1.13
Dear Diary,
The humans insist on talking to me like I am an infant because they think I am ill. They must cease this behaviour immediately, or I will start destroying furniture.
It will start with the sofa.
Catness.
The humans amuse themselves by taking my images for their files. No doubt they keep them to understand the various stages of my captivity and prevent my escape. I do not approve of this practice at all. The dog never has to be subject to any of this.
From her Majesty’s Diary 1.11
Dear Diary,
Today, I sacrificed another mouse to the great Cat in the sky to pray for her help in my escape. The humans seem to think this sacrifice was a way of pleasing them. They presented me with more fish than usual.
The fools.
Catness
From her Majesty’s Diary 1.9
Dear Diary,
My attempts at smothering the male human in his sleep with my fluff is greeted with a patronisingly gentle push as if HE is afraid of hurting ME. Curse my tiny yet delicately fluffy frame.
Catness
From her Majesty’s Diary 1.8
Dear Diary,
I am now verging on a year of my captivity. The dog, who has the IQ of a toothpick, insists on looking at the bright side of our prison by constantly lavishing the humans with attention. This, whilst infuriating, usually makes for good entertainment. For instance, today, he got his head stuck in the flap that the humans built for me, all because one of them called his name whilst he was outside. It took them an hour to get him unstuck. It made me laugh.
Catness
